I have been noticing lately an increasing impatience with the less than fair attitudes of the teenagers with whom I work. I run the Teen Center at the local YWCA Family Center, a shelter for families experiencing a homeless situation because of housing or job crisis. Invariably the teens that come in the TC are frustrated with the situation in which they find themselves. Let’s just say that sometimes their arguments and contentions are ridiculously supported by illogical tenets that don’t hold water. Yet, these stubborn teens insist upon sticking to their position at the point of conflicts erupting daily in the classroom. It drives me crazy! Honestly it is such a regular occurrence lately (some of the teens have been experiencing an especially challenging turn of events in their situations) that I have felt it my duty to show them the errors in their thinking by pointing out the flaws in their contentious attitudes… and only get myself dragged into an argument.

Other times I’ll spend hours and hours preparing some project (in my mind there is usually a vision of them getting really in to it, having a great time, having their lives impacted somehow, and maybe even being grateful for what I did), only to have them complain or refuse to participate. Sometimes I get so frustrated with the negativism and the bad attitudes… I just want to take certain individuals by the shoulders and shake em and say “It’s not all about you!”. However, this frustration is really only affecting me. It does not help the situation and I begin to wonder if these teens know that I love them. Do I show it? Or do I just seem like the drill sergeant of rules in the TC?

When I began my scripture study this morning I was praying to find something to help me know how I should respond outwardly to crises at the TC, but mostly looking for how I can remove the building frustration and helplessness that torments my inner soul when things aren’t going well. As I was reading the Book of Mormon, I came across a verse in 1 Nephi chapter 19 that really jumped out at me. It speaks of the sufferings that our Savior endured. In verse 9 it reads:

“And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men.”

Well, I know I cannot compare my menial ‘sufferings’ to the pains that He had to bear or to the persecutions He faced. I am amazed at his long suffering, His patience, and His willingness to ‘take’ so many injustices without complaint or retaliation. The completely illogical arguments and unjust accusations that I face at the YWCA are not any more illogical or unjust than the false accusations of the Pharisees and Sadducees. The anger and bad attitudes of the teens are not any more violent or abrasive than the assaults of the soldiers or the taunting crowd. The lack of gratitude and betrayal of friendships are not any more damaging than the betrayal by a people whom He came to save. Yet, Christ sets a perfect example for us! For me.

Most amazingly, this verse explains HOW He was able to endure so much: the power of ‘loving kindness’. Because of love He endured it all without complaint or bitterness. I’m sure He was frustrated, but it never changed His positive eternal perspective or prevented Him from feeling happiness. His great example fo the power of love is truly inspiring. Usually when we speak of loving being able to heal the world, we’re talking about its ability to prevent wars, bring nations together, and make people less selfish and more willing to share with one another. Well, today I see Charity differently. Christ had perfect love and it did NOT prevent others from making poor choices. It did, however, empower Him to choose His attitude towards the wrongs around Him. We cannot prevent others from exercising agency and we cannot eliminate all the injustice in the world; but we CAN prevent those negative things from filling our souls with enmity. Charity is a gift of being able to love despite the injustice… and blesses our souls with peace and patience. All the water in the world can’t sink a ship unless the water gets inside. Charity keeps things from affecting us internally, even if they are dark and dreary. Charity is a great gift.

I know I’m far from perfect, but I’m grateful for the Lord’s patience with me. I’m grateful He led me to 1 Nephi today and touched my heart with this verse. I feel He is speaking to me, and I pray that I can learn the lesson He desires for me. A lesson of allowing loving kindness to replace the feelings of betrayal, hurt, animosity, or frustration that permeate the atmosphere at work. A lesson of following His perfect example.